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My Hijab Story
Assalam-u-Alaikum Sisters,
I am 16 years of age and I have a very interesting story to tell. Ever since I could remember I had always worn a hijab but as soon as I turned 13 years old I decided I needed a change so I took my hijab off. (Astagfirullah) For three years I did not bother to wear my hijab as I was influenced by many of my friends. Then every Saturday I started to attend a women's gatheering at a local mosque. Here many of the women wore niqab and I used to look aat them wondering what it was like. I did not think they were odd, I knew that they were more courageous then myself because they were practising to live life in the Islamic way. Many stories were told about unveiling and the major sins they would carry out on the Day of Judgement. At the end of this gathering Dua's were said and how I cried when we did this. I wanted to feel closer to Allah because when my hijab came off Istarted drifting away. At this time in my life I was suffering a lot from a lot people. I felt helpless and wanted to feel loved. I wanted to be closer to Allah(SWT). After 3 years my friends who I was influenced by broke up with me and how they tormented me. Two of my other close freinds at that time knew that I was thinking about wearing the Hijab again but to be honest I was half-hearted about it. Then suddenly one afternoon as I returned from college I came home and went upto my room where I saw a hijab on my bed. I went into the bathroom and just put it on my head. The feeling in my heart was sensational. I felt complete. At that moment I started crying so much and the reason for this was that I had drifted away from this Islamic way of living life. I had drifted away from Allah(SWT) and at one time I would never miss my Salah but I had began to do so in the 3 years of my life. How I regretted this, I really wanted that time back but I was asking for something that was impossible. As I was going into the living room many thoughts went through my mind but I wasn't going to let anyone stand in my way this time. My parents were really happy when they saw me in my Hijab and so were my grandparents. Everyone thought I really looked nice. One thing my uncle said to me will always remain with me until I die. He said " Now you have practised to wear the Hijab just remember this, never take it off. You have decided to live this way now stick to it." The next day I was to go to college. I was really nervous but at the same time I was determined not to let anyone get to me. I woke up in the morning and headed off with my two good friends who were praising me. When I got to college I felt that all eyes were on me and I wasn't wrong. Many remarks were made " why have you worn that for" I simply replied that the time was right. But the worst remarks came from my friends who I was influenced by. Being Muslims themselves I thought they would understand but they didn't and they swore at me for wearing a hijab. Swears that I copuld not even imagine I just burst into tears but I didn't lose hope. I faced them all and mashaallah I still haven't taken my hijab off. It will stay on my head until the day they put me in my grave. I am really upset with myself because I can't take no more pain. But I still have the courage to face life and take whatever it gives me. I remember Allah in my Salah and I really cry whenever I pray. I ask Allah to forgive me and guide me through my life. I am always crying and asking Allah to forgive me for being a bad person and I ask Allah to forgive me for making many mistakes in my life. In the month of Ramadhan I am going to perform Umrah (Inshaallah) and I am really happy. Once I go there I am going to ask Allah to forgive me and when I return I am going to become a changed person(Inshaallah). I am going to start wearing a nikab and live life in accordance to the Holy Book. I thank Allah for everything he has given me but mostly I would like to thank Allah for giving me the courage to face through everything. I know my story is different but I felt I had to share it with other sisters. May Allah take care of you all and may Allah give you the courage to do more to attain your place in Jannah.(Inshaallah) Khuda Hafiz
