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Reporter Mistakenly Covers Issues of Presidential Campaign

Date: January 05, 2004 | 12 Dhu-l-Qidah 1424 Hijriah
Subjects: satire
This post by Oliver Willis deserves being quoted in full:

NASHUA, NH - The calm of the presidential campaign today was disrupted by an unprecedented event. White House press secretary Scott McClellan called the event "disturbing", and promised it would "be looked into at the highest levels of government". At approxiamately 2:34pm (EST), reporter Mo Godwin of the Topeka News Tribune filed a story about the presidential campaign consisting only of perspectives on policy issues. "I don't know what I was thinking", said a visibly distraught Godwin, "I didn't say anything about the money race or tv airtime or Dean's irritability. I simply wrote about the economy, health care, Iraq, and -- Lord help me -- the environment". NY Times beat reporter Adam Nagourney said, "Mo has set a dangerous precedent. It's a staple of political writing that we don't actually make mention of the issues in the race, but rather the superficial details associated with the mythical 'trail'". The incident was made even worse as Godwin's sickeningly substantive story made it past editors and into tomorrow's newspaper. "Our readers will be more informed about the really important issues in the election, and if that happens - we will have failed", said Dan Faley, the Topeka News Tribune's managing editor. McClellan said that the paper's White House press pass would be suspended pending further review, adding that "We can't have newspapers printing facts around here. Who knows what could happen next?"
rofl
~ Posted by Al-Muhajabah, a member of the reality-based community, at 10:58 PM

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