The Clipboard: Deaf British ex-major gets reserve call-up

From an article¹:

A retired army major, who is deaf in one ear, has no sense of smell, suffers from chronic back pain and "doesn't know one end of an SA80 assault rifle from the other", has been asked if he is prepared to serve in Iraq.

Ned Middleton, who, at 54, is four years older than the Defence Secretary, Geoff Hoon, said yesterday he was amazed when, 11 years after he left the Army, he got a letter from the Ministry of Defence asking if he would like to go back.

Although Mr Middleton describes himself as "no bloody use to anyone" and says he takes enough painkillers a day "to lay out an elephant", he is prepared to serve if required. He has even taken up jogging with a 40lb pack on his bad back in case the call comes through.

He believes that, because he remains on the reserve list until his 55th birthday next May, the MoD might be trying to recruit a "Dad's Army" of reservists on the cheap.

"If they recruit people like me for six-month tours of duty they save money because that would be it for me after the tour," the father of three said at his home in Outwell, Norfolk.

"But if they recruit somebody in their early 20s they would have to pay them for however long their service was, find them a home and all the expense that goes with it."

The drawbacks, as Mr Middleton pointed out, include the fact that he has no idea how the current assault rifle works plus his physical condition. Nevertheless, a letter from the Regular Army Reserve of Officers asks him if he would consider a tour of duty either in Iraq or the former Yugoslavia.

Mr Middleton said: "The Government has announced cuts which will see 1,700 posts lost in the Army and a very senior officer told me that recruitment was buoyant - so what the hell do they want me for?" (link)

"If they recruit people like me... they save money" - Sounds like this one should be coming soon to the U.S., eh?

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Complete text of the article, Deaf British ex-major gets reserve call-up, by David Sapsted

A retired army major, who is deaf in one ear, has no sense of smell, suffers from chronic back pain and "doesn't know one end of an SA80 assault rifle from the other", has been asked if he is prepared to serve in Iraq.

Ned Middleton, who, at 54, is four years older than the Defence Secretary, Geoff Hoon, said yesterday he was amazed when, 11 years after he left the Army, he got a letter from the Ministry of Defence asking if he would like to go back.

Although Mr Middleton describes himself as "no bloody use to anyone" and says he takes enough painkillers a day "to lay out an elephant", he is prepared to serve if required. He has even taken up jogging with a 40lb pack on his bad back in case the call comes through.

He believes that, because he remains on the reserve list until his 55th birthday next May, the MoD might be trying to recruit a "Dad's Army" of reservists on the cheap.

"If they recruit people like me for six-month tours of duty they save money because that would be it for me after the tour," the father of three said at his home in Outwell, Norfolk.

"But if they recruit somebody in their early 20s they would have to pay them for however long their service was, find them a home and all the expense that goes with it."

The drawbacks, as Mr Middleton pointed out, include the fact that he has no idea how the current assault rifle works plus his physical condition. Nevertheless, a letter from the Regular Army Reserve of Officers asks him if he would consider a tour of duty either in Iraq or the former Yugoslavia.

Mr Middleton said: "The Government has announced cuts which will see 1,700 posts lost in the Army and a very senior officer told me that recruitment was buoyant - so what the hell do they want me for?"

An Army spokesman said: "Normally when we call someone up it is a regular who has served in the past three years. We don't just write to people out of the blue."

He added: "It sounds like a general letter sent to quite a lot of former regulars to see if they were prepared to deploy if called upon."

reference=http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2004/08/12/narmy12.xml&sSheet=/news/2004/08/12/ixhome.html